What’s Your Take on the Real Housewives of Orange County Cast?

Here’s mine:

Alexis – Her strengths are that she is fun, outgoing, confident and unassuming. I also sense an unusual loyalty and genuineness about her, for her personality is the same regardless of who she is around or what situation she is in. She is a loyal friend who will have your back, until you cross her. Once crossed, she is unforgiving and will never forget it.

She doesn’t like conflict or go out of her way to stir it up, but will address it when confronted in a calm, but often defensive manner, especially when it comes to her husband, Jim. She has a hard time seeing or admitting her faults. 

Tamra – On the surface, she seems like a bubbly, sassy, fun and free-spirited woman who is very warm-hearted and a great friend to have. However, beneath her fun and bubbly demeanor lies a very dark, troubled woman who seems to cause a lot of misery and drama for many people around her.

She does not like conflict but she is often the center of it because of her constant talking behind people’s backs and pinning people against each other. 

I wouldn’t trust her.

Vicky  – High strung, hard worker, detail-oriented and a tendency to nag.

Of all the Real Housewives of Orange County, I find Vicky to be the most complex, because she has everything one needs to be happy – a successful career, kids, a loving boyfriend and is more than financially comfortable. Yet she is clearly very insecure, and very threatened by any sort of conflict, criticism or change that is not on her terms. 

That is not to say she is bitter – I do not believe she is bitter at all, as she has accomplished everything one would aspire to accomplish in life and more. I just mean she is fragile and very thin-skinned, and I’m not sure why. 

Gretchen – Bubbly and fun-loving, and appears to keep things light and funny, but if you look closely, there’s more to her than initially meets the eye. Her Southern charm is deceptive in that she has a way of insulting you with a smile on her face and a light, giggly tone of voice, as if it’s all a big joke. This makes her hard to read sometimes. 

The jury is still out on her, I will withhold judgement on her character for now.

Heather – Serious, sensitive and intelligent. She is thin-skinned, doesn’t like jokes at her expense. Can be a little catty, but her insults are usually not that hurtful. 

Heather does not like conflict, it rattles her. She prefers to avoid it and would rather play nice with people, even with people she does not particularly like. 

Yet she is very opinionated. 

Jury is still out on her, too. 

Slade (Gretchen’s boyfriend) – Charming, outgoing and seems pleasant enough, but opportunistic and tends to use people.

Stays out of conflict and drama so long as it does not involve him. If it involves him, he will fight back, but once you make nice with him, he will get over it. 

Jim (Alexis’s husband) – He has barely been on the show the past two seasons, but from what I gathered from Season 5 and the little glimpses I see of him here and there, he is smart, outgoing and fun to be around. Good listener, easy to talk to. Gives good, objective advice.

Does Tamra Barney Suffer from Borderline Personality Disorder?

In my unprofessional opinion, yes. 

According to psychcentral.com:

The main feature of borderline personality disorder (BPD) is a pervasive pattern of instability in interpersonal relationships, self-image and emotions. People with borderline personality disorder are also usually very impulsive.

This fits Tamra to a T. As other cast members have pointed out, she seems to cycle her friends and can only have one close friend at a time. 

We see this in her relationships with many of the women and men on this show, including Vicky, Gretchen, Alexis, Simon (her ex-husband) and even Slade, Gretchen’s boyfriend. 

A person with this disorder will also often exhibit impulsive behaviors and have a majority of the following symptoms:

• Frantic efforts to avoid real or imagined abandonment

Tamra appears to be likable and charismatic enough to people so that they are usually drawn to her and thus, she is usually the one to abandon them, instead of them abandoning her. That being said, her freaking out over Vicky and Eddie’s playful banter was very telling. 

• A pattern of unstable and intense interpersonal relationships characterized by alternating between extremes of idealization and devaluation

Yes (see above). 

• Identity disturbance, such as a significant and persistent unstable self-image or sense of self

Check. She was married to a very conservative man, in a very conservative marriage for a number of years, then suddenly backed out and decided that was not what she wanted (although, to be fair, Simon was very controlling and clingy, so I can see what drove her away). 

I also think she is going through a mid-life crisis, and tends to act younger than she is.

• Impulsivity in at least two areas that are potentially self-damaging (e.g., spending, sex, substance abuse, reckless driving, binge eating)

Don’t know.

• Recurrent suicidal behavior, gestures, or threats, or self-mutilating behavior

Don’t know.

• Emotional instability due to significant reactivity of mood (e.g., intense episodic dysphoria, irritability, or anxiety usually lasting a few hours and only rarely more than a few days)

Check. On Season 5, she kept going back and forth about whether or not she wanted a divorce, telling everyone but her husband (including Vicky, her mother and anyone else who would listen). In fact, when the episodes aired months later, she was still married to him, and he only found out she’d even considered a divorce when watching the episodes when they aired. They filed for divorce a few days after the episode of Tamra confiding in someone about her wish to divorce Simon. If it weren’t for Simon seeing the episodes on TV, she would likely still be married to him. 

• Chronic feelings of emptiness

See above.

• Inappropriate, intense anger or difficulty controlling anger (e.g., frequent displays of temper, constant anger, recurrent physical fights)

Check, as indicated by many of her inappropriate reactions to several cast members, most notably Jeana, who she threw a drink on at a party at the end of Season 6. 

• Transient, stress-related paranoid thoughts or severe dissociative symptoms

Don’t know, although she does appear to distort events in her mind. For example, she claimed that she only threw a drink at Jeana because Jeana became violent with her, which, as we see from the footage, is not true. 

I also notice that she tends to come between a lot of other people’s close friendships once she is their close friend. For example, Jeana and Vicky were close friends for a number of years until Tamra got into an altercation with her, and Vicky chose to side with Tamra, which no doubt put a strain on Vicky and Jeana’s relationship. 

We see the same thing happening with Gretchen and Alexis. 

She also dragged Vicky into her rocky marriage with Simon, constantly turning to Vicky in a state of misery and confiding that she wanted out of their marriage, that she didn’t think she could do this anymore. 

Vicky responded like most normal, supportive friends would: If you are unhappy, then leave, he is making you miserable. 

When Simon realized this, he blamed Vicky for Tamra’s pulling away from him, which caused a lot of conflict between the two, while Tamra pulled back and played innocent, and even went so far as to tell Vicky that she should not meddle in her and Simon’s business, even though she is the one who confided in Vicky about her business in the first place. 

Don’t turn your back away from this woman, she will stab it. 

When it comes to reality TV, some might say it seems staged, unreal, and scripted. Well, I can tell you, there’s nothing scripted about finding out what people think about you when you watch a new episode for the first time. The major difference between real life and reality TV is that in real life, what someone thinks about you either never gets back to you, or it takes a while—it’s part of a social process that takes time and many leaky sources. On reality TV, you find out fast—and it’s brutal, and there are no holds barred. It must be something about sitting in front of that camera alone that makes people feel safe, seemingly disregarding year after year that what they say there is not private, and in fact, what they say in these confessional type interviews is largely what drives most of the storyline for viewers. As you watch these individual moments, imagine what it would be like if you could watch a reel of the people in your own life in the same format. What would they be saying about you? Would you care? Would it matter? Would they be doing it just to hurt you, or is there a common theme among them that might suggest you have some things to work on? No matter what, whether there’s ever a confessional about you, don’t you want your friends to be truthful to your face, and loyal to the end? Being truthful is part of being loyal, but being loyal means standing by your friends through thick and thin. Loyalty means many things to many people, but to most, it is at least in part about being the kind of person whose love of friends and family does not change no matter what else in life does change. With or without money or fame, and with or without status and “hip factor,” loyalty should always be there. Loyalty is not meant to be an afterthought, but the tool that navigates us through stormy seas. If you’re loyal, alliances are obvious, and choices become very easy to make. How I am portrayed this week is a great example of how easy it is for opinions and loyalties to be changed. Many may think I had a good episode because they see me praying for my wife and spending time with my children—not a bad depiction at all. But what will the flip-floppers think of me next week when I’m not there, or if for example, they see me tell my wife she’s talking too loud without seeing us laughing about it later? The fact is, Alexis’ hearing was affected by having the twins, and she has asked me let her know when she is talking too loud. But you won’t hear anything about that unless you’re reading my blog. Many viewers have been conditioned to accept what they see on TV as reality, as it occurred; it’s a little sad and kind of scary to me how easily some viewers will just accept the subtly hidden opinion—don’t be fooled, the camera itself is a character on this show, and it has its agenda and is often a narrator as well. Loyalties become extra fickle when there’s a third party helping viewers decide what to think. How people on reality TV treat one another changes every episode. How can this be? Even the most fair-weather friends I have had didn’t change their opinions and feelings that often in real life. How cast mates regard each other in their private interviews changes more than the weather—and what’s worse, some of the audience watching the show changes their opinion of someone based on what their favorite cast mate on the show says. From one week to the next, the audience loves you, hates you, then loves you again—it’s a merry-go-round, but the nauseating part is how easily some change their opinions of people they don’t even know based on tidbits of secondhand opinions from a third party. Where is the loyalty—both on the show and in life? I understand that this is meant for entertainment, but when I read tweets about reality TV personalities, some of the criticism is so sharp and hateful is boggles the mind. Imagine, a mother of two from Wisconsin tweeting, “You’re a loser I hate you, you should kill yourself” Then, two weeks later, the same person tweeting about the same celebrity tweets, “Loved your makeup this episode! where’d you get that lipgloss? Plz follow me I’m a fan!” What was it that got under her skin so deeply that she became motivated enough to say something so incredibly awful? Then she pivots faster than a weathervane in a tornado—what the heck is this based on? If people in your life are this fickle, get rid of them. There’s no time to try and figure out why you can’t please 2% of people—so focus on the 98% you can and worry about them. I for one am not naïve enough to believe people aren’t talking negatively about me, but I also know there’s no percentage in lending too much credence to the opinions of people who have never met me, and never will. I’ve greatly appreciated the wonderful comments people have made about getting to know me through this blog–all of the constructive comments and compliments I have gotten have been enlightening and heartwarming. But it’s funny how a few of the comments seem like double-edged swords. Some comments have said, wow, I hated Jim, thought he was a loser, I believed what other people said about him, and now I love Jim! Faithful fans of the show can now see the real me, and it’s been a reality check for us both. For the first time ever, I decided to put myself on display for anyone who would like to read this blog. Before that, I should have been a mystery, not someone anybody hated—think about the reasons people hated me: Because they BELIEVED INFORMATION FROM TV OR THE INTERNET WITHOUT VETTING IT. It wasn’t because any of the viewers had dealt with me personally and had a bad experience with me. Instead, many people didn’t like me because of how I looked on the show from one week to the next. This is testimony to how fans are driven from one side to another based on where they feel their loyalties should lie. The truth is, as I have stated in previous blogs, many of the people on reality TV have allegiance to one thing: MONEY—their judgment is based on that loyalty, but it doesn’t mean viewers has to be too. So while I am ever grateful that I’ve gained new fans, it makes me wonder—if I were to stop blogging and go back to filming more, would opinions of me waffle right back to where they were? My thought is that we should not judge someone week-by-week or episode-by-episode, but by the content of their character that has been revealed consistently over a long period of time. There’s nothing wrong with a little healthy skepticism when it comes to believing what we see on TV and read on the Internet. Don’t buy into the latest hate fest—or hug fest either. Sometimes there’s no way for any of us to know what’s going on in the hearts and minds of others, but I think it’s safe to say that swapping allies midstream and shifting your nationally-known opinion of a former friend is a sign priorities may not be where they should be. Loyalty is nine-tenths of the law—Alexis and I are not interested in bandwagon friends, and you shouldn’t be either. Just keepin’ it real, -Jim

Jim Bellino’s Blog – 3/13/2012

The Challenge – Battle of the Exes – Episode 8

Diem and CT decide to throw Paula and Dunbar into The Dome. CT shouldn’t have listened to Diem.

Paula says she is not surprised, and Dunbar said he thinks it was a stupid decision. 

Paula and Ty continue to playfully flirt, but Paula says it sucks that no matter who wins, she and Ty won’t be able to hang out anymore after The Dome since they are going against each other.

Next scene features The Dome, where TJ declares CT and Diem’s decision to send Paula and Dunbar against Ty and Emily in The Dome as “the world decision in Challenge history.”

First up, it’s Dunbar vs. Ty. It’s a running theme. Ty beats Dunbar by seconds. Next it’s Emily vs. Paula – and Emily wins, which eliminates Paula and Dunbar.

Paula and Ty exchange one last kiss. Paula confesses to us that she doesn’t expect anything to come of her and Ty’s relationship outside of this challenge. “He’s a baby, I’m grandma,” she jokes. 

Johnny and Camila cuddle in bed, wondering about what the next challenge will entail. Camila says she’s confident she can do well in a final and declares, “We can’t get last place next challenge.”

Johnny confesses that he’s learned that no matter how much of a tight game you think you’re playing, there is no guarantee you will end up in a final. 

Meanwhile, Ty and Emily lounge around next to Robin and encourage her to open up. “Everyone knows you except us,” Ty says, referring to himself and Emily. “Open yourself.”

Robin shrugs them off and says she doesn’t come on these challenges to make friends or get to know people anymore, she comes to win money so she can provide for her son. 

Robin looks really good, by the way, she is aging well so far. At 31, she still could easily pass as someone in her mid 20’s. 

Cut to Challenge Day – this challenge is called Field of Burn. As power couple, CT and Diem are in charge of the line-up. They decide to put Johnny and Camila first. Camila is surprised by this, because she and Johnny never put CT and Diem first when they were the power couple. “CT and Diem are playing their own game.” she notes with disappointment. 

Johnny says he does not have a strategy for this challenge. 

Johnny and Camila do not complete Field of Burn in the 20 minute time limit. 

Robin and Mark are up next – they don’t complete this challenge in 20 minutes, either. 

Next up are Emily and Ty’s, who are able to complete this challenge in less than 20 minutes. 

Last up are CT and Diem – who do really well and also complete the challenge in under 20 minutes.

Johnny and Camila get last place, which automatically puts them in The Dome. 

CT and Diem completed the challenge in the least amount of time, which makes them Power Couple once again and gives them an automatic ticket to the Final Challenge. 

Now it’s time for Diem and CT to decide who they want to put against Johnny and Camila in The Dome. 

Meanwhile, Camila is furious because she feels that Diem and CT really screwed her and Johnny over. She does not even want to talk to them, but Johnny says they have to, in order to get a better deal in The Dome. 

As Mark points out, the choice for who to send into The Dome is obvious – Emily and Ty! They are clearly the better team and obviously a much bigger threat than Robin and Mark.

But stupid Diem laments that she does not want Robin to get a free pass to the final, despite the fact that Robin is her friend, but whatever. Diem’s logic is retarded – I am not sure Diem is even capable of logic. 

They choose Mark and Robin. IDIOTS. 

Diem explains her decision with, “I just couldn’t send Emily and Ty into another Dome.” 

I can not believe how stupid of a decision they just made. 

The Challenge – Battle of the Exes – Episode 7

This episode begins at the beach – and things are hot and heavy between Ty and Paula, who are seen flirting and making out on the beach. 

Emily overhears Ty (who is working VERY hard to take things to the next level with Paula) say “I love you,” to Paula and it bugs her, because Ty once said the same things to her that he is now saying to Paula.

Back at the house, Emily confronts Ty on this, and Ty reassures her that he did, indeed, love her and that she was the most influential person in his life.

Next, we see Diem talking to Ty about her big fight with CT. Diem comments that they haven’t spoken in two days. Ty advises her to talk to him and tell him he hurt her feelings and then to move forward.

Next we see CT and Diem talking it out. Well, really, we see Diem bringing up the past from 5 years ago, about how it hurt her that CT hooked up with Shavon on Duel II, and how she felt he did not care about her feelings. Yaaawn, I could see how Diem would be exhausting. 

Then she proceeds to discuss the flight issue (when CT’s brother died, Diem was supposed to come visit him in Boston, but she apparently messed up on her flight reservations and was unable to change it and couldn’t afford to book a new ticket) even though CT did not bring it up and seems to want to just let it all go. 

Anyone else get the impression that, even though Diem broke up with him, CT has moved on and Diem hasn’t? 

Next scene is challenge day – where the five remaining couples must compete in a wedding-themed challenge on the beach. Emily and Ty finish last, which means they are automatically up for elimination. CT and Diem win, so they are now the power couple, which means they are in charge of picking the couple they want to go against Emily and Ty for this week’s elimination round. 

Back at the house, a bored Emily and Camila decide to dress up as Ty and Paula, mocking their annoying relationship dynamic, which has apparently been getting on everyone in the house’s nerves due to their excessive PDA. 

Camila paints her face white, Emily paints her face with chocolate, and the two go out into the kitchen and start mocking them.

Honestly, it all seemed like a harmless joke to me, but over-sensitive Ty flips out and accuses Emily of racism, but on the aftershow, Johnny, CT and Aneesa all seem to agree that the real reason he got so upset was because he felt like she was mocking his game (or lack there of) and that made him insecure, but he did not want to admit it, so he covered it up with the ‘race’ card. 

Ty gets so upset that he threatens to leave, much to Emily’s shock and dismay. Everyone in the house tries to convince Ty to stay, likely because they know he is up for elimination and so if he quits, that means two other couples are up for elimination, instead of just one. 

Ty agrees to sleep on it, and he and Emily make up the next morning.

Honestly, what Emily did to him was pretty tame in comparison to the things he’s done to her, such as throwing a plant at her and other such drunken aggressive tactics.

Meanwhile, CT and Diem ponder which couple they want to throw in against Ty and Emily.

They talk to all the couples in the house – Robin/Mark, Camila/Johnny and Paula/Dunbar.

CT wants to throw in Johnny, which would be the smartest move in my opinion, since that would put the two strongest teams against each other and therefore, eliminate one of the big threats. However, for some odd reason, Diem thinks Paula and Dunbar are a bigger threat and wants to throw them in. 

Finally, they walk into the living room to announce who they have chosen for elimination, and then all of a sudden, the screen goes black and it says TO BE CONTINUED…

So we won’t know who they choose until next week. 

Tila Tequila Suffers Possible Brain Damage

According to Starcasm, Tila Tequila, 30, was released from a week-long hospital stay today, after reportedly suffering a brain aneurysm and overdosing on two bottles of prescription pills. A source close to the situation says she may have overdosed on the pills in attempt to control the sudden pain from the brain aneurysm. 

A source close to the situation also says the situation is not looking good, for she has not fully regained her ability to speak and doctors are worried she may have suffered permanent brain damage.

Yikes!

Jenelle Evans Arrested for Stalking

Speaking of jail, Jenelle Evans was arrested for stalking earlier today, a charge which was reportedly filed by her former boss, James Duffy.  

She first learned of the arrest warrant upon returning from NYC today and immediately turned herself in. She was reportedly released a few hours later, on a $1000 bond. 

Jenelle’s lawyer, Dustin Sullivan, calls the charges “retaliatory.” 

Kieffer Delp Released From Jail

But no headlines or word on where he went.

However, as you see on his North Carolina Department of Corrections Public Information, his Inmate Status has changed from ACTIVE to INACTIVE. 

I Attended the Teen Mom 2 – Season 3 Reunion Taping on Saturday

I attended the first half of the Teen Mom 2 – Season 3 Reunion on Saturday. While I can’t give away any spoilers for the upcoming season (other than it looks pretty good), I can give you my general opinion of the people I saw.

First off, since I only attended the first half, I only got to see two of the four girls covered, which were Chelsea and Kailyn. The only time I saw Leah and Jenelle was at the very beginning of the taping, when they were all introduced by Dr. Drew. That being said, both Chelsea and Kailyn’s segments were interesting.

Chelsea’s segment was first, and early on in the interview, Dr. Drew complained that Chelsea never lets him hold her hand during interviews, and insisted she hold it from now on, which I personally found a bit weird. Even weirder was the fact that he held it for an abnormally long time as he grilled her about everything that has went on this season, while looking into her eyes for an awkwardly long amount of time, seemingly in hopes of pulling out some sort of emotional reaction out of her, which only seemed to make her more and more uncomfortable throughout the interview.

Adam Lind (her baby’s Daddy) and her Dad were also there and took part in her segment. Again, I can’t give any specific details that will be in the upcoming season away, but I will say that Adam really bothered me. Based on the things I heard today, as an audience member of the Teen Mom 2 – Season 3 Reunion, I believe he uses Chelsea and I believe she knows it. Dr. Drew grilled Adam pretty hard this time, likely due to all the negative feedback he received earlier this week for giving Adam a break on the Season 2 Reunion, which aired earlier this week. I sensed that he could feel the judging eyes on him, for when asked about his antics, I noticed that Adam did one of three things:

1. Brushed it off with vague answers and made up excuses in attempt to downplay his behavior as normal.

2. Flat out lied.

3. When called out on his lies and pressed further, he shut down and refused to answer, which made the answers obvious.

Adam and Chelsea both acted like they wanted to be anywhere but there. Adam yawned at one point during the interview. Adam and Chelsea both gave very short, impatient answers to Dr. Drew’s incessant questions and they both said, several times, that they just want to move on from all of this.

Randy (Chelsea’s father) was more polite and engaging, but even he seemed happy to get this all over with.

Chelsea and Adam are no longer together, as was mentioned on the Reunion and I can reveal that because she has made it public information on Twitter.

Kailyn was far more talkative and engaging and although she has never been my favorite girl, I must admit, she is far more likable in person.

Jo was there and took part in her segment, too, most of which was centered around Kailyn’s dislike for Jo’s girlfriend, Vee (which is public knowledge for anyone who follows her on her Twitter, so I am not leaking any information that is confidential).

She and Jo were civil, though, and although they bantered back and forth, neither raised their voice with each other.

I confess, after Chelsea’s depressing segment, Kailyn was a breathe of fresh air.

One difference between these two girls that is immediately apparent is the way they present themselves. When Chelsea came into her segment she appeared avoidant, reserved and overall drained, irritated by hearing about her bad decisions, sick of explaining herself. There were also times she seemed afraid to give her opinion because she did not want to disrupt any peace. Chelsea is fragile.

By contrast, Kailyn entered the stage ready, open and talkative. She spoke easily, confidently and candidly. Kailyn owned the room, whereas Chelsea seemed to let the room own her. 

I felt for Chelsea, though. I don’t think talking about sad things is helpful for her, but she keeps being forced to do that, and it just seems to get her upset and irritated. I can relate to this, because I’m the same way. 

That’s not to say that those who do find it helpful are weird or wrong, it’s just a different personality-type, that’s all. Different approaches work differently for different people. 

In any case, that concludes my blog entry for the Teen Mom 2 – Season 3 Reunion taping. Seeing how Season 3 hasn’t even aired yet, this reunion probably won’t be airing for another year or so. 

Kieffer Delp to be Released From Jail on Sunday

According to public inmate records at the North Carolina Department of Corrections, Jenelle Evan’s 22-year-old ex-boyfriend, Kieffer Delp, is scheduled to be released from jail in two days, on Sunday, March 4, 2012.

The troubled drifter has racked up two infractions since his incarceration first began on November 15, 2011, one for profane language on December 25 and one, more recently, for fighting on February 12.

Jenelle has since moved on to a new boyfriend, Gary Head, or so she claims. Sometimes, I wonder, is this all an act? With all of the pictures she posts of the two of them happily together and her constantly mentioning he’s so much better than Kieffer, it almost seems a bit forced, as if she’s trying to convince both herself and others that she is over Kieffer.

The real test as to whether she has moved on will be once Kieffer gets out of jail.

That being said, it is entirely possible that Jenelle has, indeed, moved on, and if that is the case, where will Kieffer go? What will he do?

According to tabloid reports back in January, Kieffer was constantly writing Jenelle love letters and was determined to win her back. This is to be expected, as one imagines jail is a lonely place and there isn’t much to do except write letters and think of people on the outside. There could also be some underlying ulterior motive, such as the fact that he is a felon and so his options in society are limited (job and money-wise) unless his fame continues. Thus, he may be determined to cling to his fame because it is his only hope of making something of himself.

This could get interesting, but only time will tell…